Kodak Moments
by dance of isis
Summary: o2. "You kicked a puppy? How could you?" For Neon Genesis. SASUSAKU. Sequel to The Pinkish Green Saga. One-shot anthology.
1. SHIKAINO ice and mascara wands

o1. "Ino-pig, put that mascara wand down!". For mintxrain. SASUSAKU, SHIKAINO. Sequel to The Pinkish Green Saga.

**Fandom: **Naruto  
**Pairings: **SasuSaku, ShikaIno  
**Prompts: **Blind date, "put that mascara wand down", melted ice

_Requested by mintxrain. _

* * *

"You know what, Ino-pig?"

"What, _forehead_?"

"…I think you're depressed."

"I am _so _not."

"Nu-uh. You _are_. Ever since Sasuke-kun and I started dating."

"No way!"

"Yes way! You are jealous of our _luurve_."

"Ew. Gross. I don't go for emos."

"Whatever, Ino-pig!"

"...like, seriously."

"Well, I'm gonna do for you what _you _did for _me_."

"…I am completely fi—"

"I propose an _intervention!_"

Uh-oh. This couldn't end well.

_With friends like these…_

Yamanaka Ino was more than a little annoyed when Haruno Sakura announced that she had set her up on a blind date.

There were _two _main things that were taboo in Ino's opinion—

The first thing was any creature that had over four legs.

The second thing, and the vastly more important one, was _blind dates_.

Spending the evening with someone who was either a) ugly, b) putrid or c) acne-infested. The people who were coerced into going on blind dates were the no-hoping losers that could never snag somebody of their own volition. Ino was highly offended that Sakura thought she couldn't find her own slice of man meat _by herself_.

But Sakura had, ever since becoming involved with Sasuke, developed quite a violent streak. Ino was—_not that she would ever, ever admit it_—slightly scared of her, and so grudgingly agreed to her stupid blind date proposition.

This did _not _mean she was going to enjoy it.

"Ino-pig, _put that mascara wand __**down**__!" _said Sakura for the gazillionth time, snatching it out of the blonde's hands before she could do any further damage with it.

"I was putting it on, for your info," Ino grouched irritably.

"Nu-uh, you were making yourself look like a prostitute," Sakura responded easily, glaring. "You know, you don't want to give the wrong impression!"

"…actually, I was going for a gothic look so they'd run the other way."

Sakura put her hands on her hips, narrowing her eyes in her best friend's direction. Ino almost flinched. She _had _to have been taking lessons from her boyfriend, or something.

"_Why_?" she questioned.

"Because I don't want to go on this stupid date and meet a stupid guy who is stupid," Ino responded, ever-so-eloquently, applying some baby pink lip-gloss.

"I assure you, this guy is anything _but _stupid," Sakura grinned knowingly, holding out Ino's black leather mini-skirt. Ino didn't like the knowledgeable look, but decided not to say anything.

"He'd have to have an IQ of _at least _three million for me to even _consider_—"

"Suck it up, Ino-pig," Sakura rolled her eyes. "And stop complaining already."

"Give me back my mascara and I will," Ino pouted.

"You know I wouldn't stick you with some freakazoid that has bad breath," the pink-haired girl frowned. "Or some creepy paedophile rapist or whatever. You should just relax. This is one hundred percent for _your _benefit!"

Ino blinked at her owlishly. Then sighed deeply. Well, if Sakura _did _stick her with anybody creepy and/or excessively ugly, then she had every right to demand repayments in ice-cream and clothes for a good month or so.

"Fine. But I'm borrowing your blue camisole."

Sakura crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. "Says who?"

"Says me. Blue clashes _horribly _with your hair."

(Ino also stole the mascara wand back when Sakura wasn't looking. Because, _really, it's every girl for herself._)

…_who needs enemies?_

Shikamaru.

_Shikamaru._

**SHIKAMARU.**

"This is—" Ino hissed in her friend's ear. "Absolutely. Not. Funny. At. _All_."

Sakura just smiled innocently. "Whatever do you mean?"

"_There is a limit_!" Ino screeched. "A limit to what I will and will not tolerate! Oh, um, hi, could you please make sure you get the creepy rapist next time? I would _prefer _a creepy rapist to—to—to _him!_"

Shikamaru.

Deer boy.

Lazy ass.

Cloud gazer.

Genius.

_Annoyance._

"Don't be ridiculous," Sakura glanced at Ino, and then giggled. "You'll have so much fun, you'll be _dying _to thank me—"

"Dying because I throw myself off a bridge," the blonde interjected.

"—and you will wonder why you ever resisted and oh look Sasuke-kun is over there so I'm going to go over there have fun _now bye!_"

And so Sakura proceeded to abandon her, not before pushing Shikamaru in her direction.

"Um," Shikamaru coughed politely, pretending he hadn't heard a _word _of their exchange. After all, nightclubs were notoriously noisy. It was no mean feat to hold a conversation (even _with _a banshee).

Ino gave him the evil eye. "She put you up to this, didn't she?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "Blackmailed, more like."

"Oh, so you had to be _blackmailed _to want to date me?" Ino was offended for reasons she did not fully comprehend, but still felt righteous enough to berate him for it. After all, she had been dragged against her will—and not-so-subtly threatened by her (ex) best friend. Who had then abandoned her for the Emo Prince.

Life. Was. Not. _Fair._

"…don't be troublesome," Shikamaru sighed. "Are you going to cooperate or not?"

"Don't patronise me!" Ino huffed. "I am not juvenile. I am a responsible adult, and intend to act like one, no matter _how _much I _despise_ your company."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at her.

Ino glared back.

Shikamaru coughed again.

Ino slumped a little.

"Fine, fine, maybe I tend to be a teensy bit of a _drama queen_," she spat out the words like they were poison. "But you are not helping."

There was a small pause. "Jerk," she added, for lack of a better word.

"…are you done yet?" the boy asked tiredly.

"Yes, I'm done, whatever."

"Well then, will you dance with me without chucking a tantrum?"

"I do not—" Ino deemed it pointless to try and argue with The Jerk. The Jerk was incapable of understanding women, and therefore not inclined to agree with anything she said. "—fine, okay."

Shikamaru shook his head—although Ino _swore _that she saw the tiniest hint of a smile on his face (although that could merely have been a hallucination from all the smoke machines)—and grabbed her upper arm, dragging her through the crowds.

"Hmph," the girl complained as they reached a suitable spot. "Do you have a _romantic bone in your body? _Being manhandled is not something a girl generally wants."

Shikamaru went mysteriously deaf at this comment. Ino just accidentally-on-purpose stepped on his foot.

"Ow, geez! You psychotic woman."

"Sorry, I can't dance well," Ino responded innocently.

"…fair enough," Shikamaru did not appear as though he thought it was 'fair enough', but had probably been told to maintain his temper. "The music is terrible, anyway."

"You got that right," Ino snorted ungraciously. "I mean, Ice Ice Baby? By that stupid and annoying Melted Ice guy?"

"…I think you mean Vanilla Ice," Shikamaru corrected bemusedly.

"Whatever. He is so not cool enough for me to get his name right."

"...uh-_huh_," Shikamaru just raised an eyebrow, and looked at her like she'd grown a second head.

Ino realised belatedly that she was most probably the definition of uncool at the current time. They were standing in the middle of a crowd of people, swaying uncomfortably, and she was not exactly being the most civil person.

Shikamaru _was _nice enough—in theory, anyway—and _smart _enough—if you called being lazy a _smart _thing—and also fairly attractive—if, of course, she could convince him to get a better haircut.

And, deep down—the place guarded by a castle, a moat and maybe a couple of dragons for good measure—she _did _kindofsortofmaybe like him.

Maybe.

A _little._

One tenth of a percent.

Which was maybe _part _of the reason why she'd gotten so annoyed with Sakura. Because she had gotten the one person whom Ino considered date material to _be _her blind date, and that made Ino angry. Considering it meant she was _so _pathetic that the only way to _get _a date with Shikamaru was through _Sakura._

Nu-uh. That wasn't cool.

"Ino? Earth to Ino?"

Ugh. And now she was _totally _zoning out on him.

_Get. A. Grip._

"Something on my face?" Ino retorted irritably as Shikamaru continued to stare at her.

"Well… you do have an unhealthy amount of mascara on."

Ino blinked. "That, for your information, happens to make me look extremely sexy. It's not _my _fault if you're too thick-headed to realise that."

Ino: 1.

Shikamaru: -100, for no other reason than that she felt like it.

"…ajhdhfd," said Shikamaru in response, turning away a little. (And was that a _blush?_)

"I'm sorry," Ino frowned. "I'm vaguely certain that wasn't English."

"…troublesome…" he shook his head.

"Once again, you _astound me _with your sparkling wit."

Hey. Had Shikamaru just called her _troublesome? _Not that it was much of a surprise—but still. _Righteous anger. _Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Shikamaru exhaled noisily, and looked her directly in the eye.

(Meanwhile, the song changed from Ice Ice Baby to something considerably more romantic and, uh, slow. Necessitating a slow dance. Ino cursed Fate.)

"I _said_," he enunciated slowly. "That I am not too thick-headed to comprehend your sexiness. Because I _do_."

Ino stared.

Shikamaru stared back.

(Somehow, during this exchange, he had put his arms around her. Ino did not recall giving him permission to do this.)

"Uh," Ino's eloquence came back with a vengeance. "That's. Um. Nice."

The pineapple-headed man—as Ino had dubbed him—rolled his eyes, smirking. "You? Speechless? That's quite uncharacteristic."

Ino snapped out of it when she saw his smirk.

"I am in _absolutely no way _speechless," Ino gulped. "Because I—I just thought that was completely uncharacteristic of you. And, uh, well... if you think _I _was uncharacteristic, too... I need to do something characteristic to make up for it."

"What's that? Slap me?" Shikamaru drawled, though he seemed a little unsure. (And possibly frightened).

"Pssh, can't be bothered." At this, Ino leaned up and kissed him. She didn't particularly know _what _had possessed her to kiss him, but—_Shikamaru? _Calling her _sexy? _That definitely deserved some sort of reward.

And Ino found it rather pleasant, to tell the truth. (Again, this was guarded by about ten dozen dragons. With acid fire.)

She'd have to wear this much mascara more often.

(And also possibly buy a Vanilla/Melted Ice CD—the _shame_.)

* * *

"See, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura pointed triumphantly at the couple across the dancefloor. "They're dancing! You owe me twenty bucks."

"Hn," Sasuke responded, displeased, fishing about in his pockets for the money.

"Ye of so little faith," Sakura grinned. "When will you learn that I _always _win these bets?"

"...you never said they were going to kiss, Sakura," Sasuke commented blandly.

"Huh?" Sakura glanced at the couple again. "But they're--OH MY GOSH!"

"Hn," Sasuke snorted a little, gazing at his girlfriend fondly (albeit very secretly, so she wouldn't catch him).

* * *

A/N: The first one-shot done of my one-shot anthology! I hope you like it, mintxrain! I kept trying to incorporate "melted ice" in a drink way... but it didn't work out like I wanted! And also... very minor SasuSaku. But that's enough to suffice, right? I thought I did an okay job at this! I also liked the prompts a lot. XD Number two should be up soon, as will the next chapter _of Sleeping Beauty. _Plus "Kodak Moments" won the poll! I kind of like that one the best, anyway. Yay.


	2. SASUSAKU puppykicking and boots

o2. No animals were harmed in the writing of this one-shot. For Neon Genesis. SASUSAKU. Sequel to The Pinkish Green Saga.

**Fandom**: Naruto  
**Pairing**: SasuSaku  
**Prompts: **puppy-kicker, bottle glass, happy happy joy joy, boots

* * *

Sakura had new boots.

To Sasuke, they looked a lot like five other pairs of boots she already owned, but he wasn't going to point this out. Because his (adorable) girlfriend currently had a look of absolute fury plastered on her face. And Sasuke had decided that remaining quiet was an extremely wise option in terms of self-preservation.

Really, it was all a big misunderstanding.

"You kicked a _puppy_?" Sakura repeated. "A defenceless, adorable puppy?"

"Not deliberately," Sasuke murmured to himself.

If Sakura heard him, she ignored that. "_Sasuke-kun_! How could you?"

The story actually went something like this: Sasuke had overheard Sakura blathering on to Ino about a puppy she had seen in the pet store that was _absolutely adorable and oh my god she wanted it_. Sasuke, with amazing foresight, had decided to buy the thing for her birthday. However, the puppy hadn't liked Sasuke very much, and had peed on his shoes when he brought it home. Trying to get the dog to _stop peeing on his shoes_, Sasuke had shaken his foot and accidentally kicked the stupid mutt.

The puppy was fine. It had whimpered and hid under the couch, but it was fine. It hated Sasuke even more now, sure, but that was understandable. Sasuke had relayed the incident to Naruto, who had told Sai, who had told Ino, who had very delightedly informed Sakura. Sometimes he wondered why she had ever helped get them together, since her current mission in life seemed to be centred around terrorising him.

Sakura, oblivious to the fact the puppy was her birthday present, had stormed over to Sasuke's house to demand an explanation for his puppy-kicking ways. Sasuke was just glad the thing had decided to stay under the couch—Sakura's birthday wasn't until tomorrow, after all, and he didn't want the surprise ruined on top of everything else.

What Sasuke actually said to Sakura, considering all this: "… sorry."

Sakura was not impressed. "Sorry? You're apologising to me? _Why_? Don't you think you should apologise to the poor puppy and its owner?"

Sasuke tried not to sigh. Sakura often picked rather pointless fights with him, and he understood that kicking a puppy was some kind of mortal sin in her book, but it wasn't as if he went to the park and deliberately sought out puppies to kick. He was not some kind of psycho. He just objected to having a dog pee on his shoe, which he thought was quite reasonable.

Still. Sakura was his girlfriend. He had to be calm about this.

"… Ino didn't tell the story properly, anyway," Sasuke protested. "I doubt the dobe even remembered what I told him."

Sakura crossed her arms over her chest, looking mutinous. "So then tell me what happened."

"…I can't."

"Excuse me?"

Sasuke cleared his throat. "I _can't_."

Sakura frowned. "Why not?"

Sasuke did not respond.

Sakura narrowed her eyes.

He stared back impassively.

She glared.

He looked at the ground.

"Uchiha Sasuke, you are so _annoying_!" and then Sakura stomped off into the kitchen, presumably to throw out his tomatoes or something equally therapeutic.

Annoying? Sasuke didn't think that was very fair. Maybe he had moments of social ineptitude, but really, _Sakura _was the annoying one. Hadn't they already established this? She was the one who ran and hid in the bathroom whenever they had a fight—obviously the kitchen was becoming a popular option, too—and _she_ was the one who insisted on giving him a moral lecture about accidentally kicking her birthday present.

He had suffered through that stupid dog peeing on five good pairs of his shoes, chewing his carpet, doing its business on his bed, chewing right through the recharger for his laptop and giving him a baleful expression whenever he went near it. Sasuke was just glad his father was not home, since he might have been disowned if he had been.

And did Sakura, his (loveable) girlfriend, appreciate any of this? No. Not even a little. To be fair, she didn't _know_ about any of it, but wasn't she meant to have female intuition?

Sasuke was dragged forcibly out of his reveries when a smash and a scream came from the kitchen.

"Sakura," he frowned, running over there (although he would rather call it "quickening his pace"). "Are you all right?"

He found his girlfriend staring bewildered at the small puppy which was now whining due to a piece of glass being lodged in its paw. The bottle that Sakura had dropped in her surprise had smashed all over the kitchen, leaving glass fragments like a minefield for the poor dog. And Sakura's new boots only further crunched them into smaller pieces.

Sasuke just mentally kicked himself for ever thinking this birthday present was a good idea.

* * *

"Don't say anything," Sakura warned, in the car on the way home from the vet. She was cradling the puppy in her arms, pouting whenever she looked at the bandage around its paw.

"… I wasn't going to," Sasuke responded, but he _had _been tempted. In his book, cutting open a puppy's leg was much worse than kicking it—and really, he had just _nudged _the stupid thing, he wasn't even sure if it could be counted as a _kick_. It wasn't his fault that it was tiny and stupid and couldn't hold on to its bladder.

There were a few moments of silence.

"So he's really… my birthday present?" Sakura asked hesitantly.

Sasuke snorted. "So long as you don't abuse him more."

"I told you not to say anything!"

"…hn."

Sakura held the puppy tighter, pout worsening. "But really… I mean, you would really buy me a _puppy_ as a birthday present? Now I feel kind of bad for what I gave you."

He remembered the 'cheer up emo kid' shirt. It was still buried at the back of his closet—he hadn't quite had the heart to throw it out. Of course, he didn't mention this to Sakura, because he had his pride and all.

"It's nothing," he said instead.

"But it is!" to his horror, she was on the verge of tears.

"Sakura, don't cry," he was alarmed. Since when did buying a girl a puppy end up with her bursting into tears... or at least looking like she would at any moment? He must be doing something incredibly wrong. Was there a rulebook for this sort of thing? Ugh.

"No one's ever done something this nice for me before," she continued. "And after everything that happened, it's really…"

Sasuke sighed. Sakura's guilt over the whole jealousy scheme a while back was a constant source of tension for the both of them. Despite the fact that Sasuke was grudging "friends" with Sai and they all continued to hang out together, Sakura couldn't accept that he'd forgiven her. Stupid girl. As if he could hold a grudge against _her_, of all people. Sakura, who might overreact about puppy-kicking, but who was pretty much perfect in all other ways—

"Shut up," he glanced across at her.

"….what?"

"Look... I love you," it was still hard for him to say the words—he'd only done it a few times before, but since he was giving her an early birthday present, he might as well give her the whole package early. "Buying you a puppy was really no big deal."

Sasuke also suspected he'd bought her the new boots, since one of his credit cards had been missing from his wallet yesterday. But he wasn't going to bring that up. It wasn't as if it mattered, anyway. He could afford some boots.

She smiled to herself. "I love you too," was her automatic response. Then she grinned. "Will you name him for me?"

Sasuke snorted. "Call it Dobe."

"Sasuke-kun…"

"It's just as annoying."

Sakura laughed. "Typical!" she paused and shook her head. "Fine. Dobe, then. Naruto'll love it."

Sasuke was admittedly surprised. It had mostly been a joke—although not really, because he had preemptively decided that the dog was the new Naruto in terms of being irritating—and he had not expected Sakura to take his suggestion seriously. Weird (but ridiculously cute) girl. That was why he loved her, though, even if he wouldn't admit it.

"Hn," was all Sasuke could muster in response.

* * *

Later, when Dobe was fast asleep on the couch downstairs, Sakura was curled up against Sasuke on his bed. He had tried to convince her that her mother might worry if she slept over at his house—without his parents there, no less—but Sakura had waved it off and said Ino was covering for her. Sasuke rolled his eyes at that. Of course.

He pulled her closer.

"Mhm, I'm sorry I yelled at you," she mumbled against his chest.

Sasuke half-smiled to himself in the dark. "Don't worry about it."

She yawned, starting to doze. "I'm really happy you… happy you… bought me the puppy…"

"I know," he kissed the top of her head gingerly. "Go to sleep."

"I'm not… tired…"

"Sure you aren't."

She didn't say anything else, and after a few minutes, Sasuke noticed that she had fallen fast asleep. Sakura could fall asleep just about anywhere, though, so it was no surprise—and he arrogantly decided to himself that his arms were better than anything else.

As he started to drift off himself, he could swear she muttered "happy happy joy joy". And, perhaps it was his half-asleep mind, but he found it suited them quite perfectly.

And the next morning, when Dobe peed on Sakura's new boots, she was considerably more understanding about Sasuke kicking him. All was right with the world.

* * *

**ooc; **SO... UM. I REALLY HAVE NO EXCUSE FOR THIS BEING LIKE TWO YEARS LATER. 8| Except that I just fell out of love with the Naruto fandom for the longest while, but I am hesitantly getting back on that horse. I WILL HAVE EVERYONE ELSE'S DONE SOON, I PROMISE. ♥


End file.
